Come on, that's just a repeat of what Steve said.
Come on, that's just a repeat of what Steve said.
I just want to thank all of you for your educational posts recently.
I am totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery.
I no longer open a public bathroom door without using a paper towel or
have them put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the
bacteria on the lemon peel.
I can't use the remote in a hotel room because I don't know what the
last person was doing while flipping through the adult movie channels.
I can't sit down on the hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what
has happened on it since it was last washed.
I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because
the number one pastime while driving alone is picking ones nose
(although cell phone usage may be taking the number one spot).
Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I can only
imagine how many gallons of Trans fats I have consumed over the years.
I can't touch any woman's handbag for fear she has placed it on the
floor of a public bathroom.
I MUST SEND MY SPECIAL THANKS to whoever sent me the one about poop in
the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every
envelope that needs sealing.
ALSO,now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny
Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.
I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking
out for me, and St. Theresa's Novena has granted my every wish.
I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible
mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers..
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a
water buffalo on a hot day.
THANKS TO YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I
forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five
BECAUSE OF YOUR CONCERN, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can
remove toilet stains.
I no longer can buy petrol or diesel without taking someone along to
watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm
I no longer use Cling Wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer..
AND THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW I can't boil a cup of water in the
microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face.. Disfiguring me
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be
pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a
perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer receive packages from UPS or Fed Ex since they are actually
Al Qaeda in disguise.
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a
number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda
, Singapore , and Uzbekistan ..
I no longer buy expensive cookies from Woolies since I now have their
THANKS TO YOU I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown
African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when
it bites my butt.
AND THANKS TO YOUR GREAT ADVICE I can't ever pick up £5.00 dropped in
the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester
waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70
minutes, a large dove with diarrhoea will land on your head at 5:00 p.m
Tomorrow afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back,
causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur
because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's
ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician . . ..
I now keep my toothbrush in the living room, because water splashes
over 6 ft. out of the toilet bowl.
over and out !
Ok here’s another one that’s doing the rounds again not as bad as the above
Subject: FW: Postal scam
Can you circulate this around especially as Xmas is fast approaching -
it has been confirmed by Royal
Mail. The Trading Standards Office are making people aware of the
A card is posted through your door from a company called PDS (Parcel
Delivery Service) suggesting that they were unable to deliver a parcel
and that you need to contact them on 0906 6611911 (a Premium rate
number).DO NOT call this number, as this is a mail scam originating
from Belize. If you call the number and you start to hear a recorded
message you will already have been billed £15 for the phone call. If
you do receive a card with these details, then please contact Royal
Mail Fraud on 02072396655 or ICSTIS (the Premium rate service
regulator) at www.icstis.org.uk
That phone number was disconnected - 2 years ago...and the £15 bit's not true either
Good site si, www.snopes.com if its not there just Google it before posting
>>>>>>If you click here your be right Idiot <<<<<<<
>>>>Singing along with the boys while looking at there Rods <<<<
Our local radio station put that out two - three weeks ago
F**k the Circus !!!!
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