Guy's rules
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Thread: Guy's rules

  1. #1
    Rods 'n' Sods Junkie goldigger's Avatar
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    Guy's rules

    Guys' Rules*******************

    Finally, the guys' side of the story.
    We always hear "the rules"
    From the female side.


    Now here are the rules from the male side.
    These are our rules!
    Please note... these are all numbered "1"
    ON PURPOSE!

    1. Men are NOT mind readers.

    1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
    You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
    We need it up, you need it down.
    You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

    1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
    or the changing of the tides.
    Let it be.

    1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
    And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

    1. Crying is blackmail.

    1. Ask for what you want.
    Let us be clear on this one:
    Subtle hints do not work!
    Strong hints do not work!
    Obvious hints do not work!
    Just say it!

    1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

    1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
    Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

    1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.

    See a doctor.

    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
    In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

    1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one

    1. You can either ask us to do something
    Or tell us how you want it done.
    Not both.
    If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

    1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

    1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
    Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

    1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
    We do that.

    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
    We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.

    1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,! Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

    1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football, the offside law,
    or golf.

    1. You have enough clothes.

    1. You have too many shoes.

    1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

    1. Thank you for reading this.
    Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


    But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

    Pass this to as many men as you can -
    to give them a laugh.

    Pass this to as many women as you can -

    to give them a bigger laugh

    Nige

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  3. #2
    Official RnS Addict graingermouse's Avatar
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    not only am i gonna pass this on to my mum and sisters, who ALL have suffered with men issues, im gonna print it out and stick it in the kitchen for the wife to read.

    wish me luck

  4. #3
    Rods 'n' Sods Junkie pop-dreamer's Avatar
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    "1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials"
    Why don't they do that? They will sit dead silent through the crappy ads, then start with their mindless, boring, bla bla bla rubbish when the program starts!

    "1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football, the offside law,
    or golf."
    Yeh stop asking me, I'm thinking of bugger all, I can do this very easily.
    Bring back national service, that will get them to tuck their shirts in.

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