The 'Man Rules'
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Thread: The 'Man Rules'

  1. #1
    Official RnS Addict tangomoggy's Avatar
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    The 'Man Rules'

    Got this in an email, thought you all might like a laugh. No doubt somtimes you'll nod and smile. I did.
    The Man Rules
    At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

    Finally , the guys' side of the story.
    ( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
    We always hear " the rules"
    From the female side....

    Now here are the rules from the male side.

    These are our rules!
    Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
    ON PURPOSE!

    1. Men are NOT mind readers.
    ( FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)

    1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
    You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
    We need it up, you need it down.
    You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

    1. Sunday sports, It's like the full moon
    or the changing of the tides.
    Let it be.

    1. Crying is blackmail.

    1. Ask for what you want.
    Let us be clear on this one:
    Subtle hints do not work!
    Strong hints do not work!
    Obvious hints do not work!
    Just say it!

    1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

    1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
    Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
    In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.


    1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
    Don't ask us.

    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

    1. You can either ask us to do something
    Or tell us how you want it done.
    Not both.
    If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself.

    1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

    1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
    Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

    1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
    We do that.

    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
    We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle..

    1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

    1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football
    or Hockey.

    1. You have enough clothes.

    1. You have too many shoes.

    1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

    1. Thank you for reading this.
    Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


    But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

    Pass this to as many men as you can -
    to give them a laugh.

    Pass this to as many women as you can -
    to give them a bigger laugh.

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  3. #2
    Down but not out badger's Avatar
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    Re: The 'Man Rules'

    oi tango...im sleeping on the couch now coz of you knew i shouldent have read it out to the mrs

  4. #3
    Woodchipper Extraordinair HotRod's Avatar
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    Re: The 'Man Rules'

    Brilliant!

  5. #4
    Official RnS Addict tangomoggy's Avatar
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    Re: The 'Man Rules'

    Badger, just imagine you're camping.........lol

  6. #5
    Official RnS Addict Sherwood's Avatar
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    Re: The 'Man Rules'

    Too true...

  7. #6
    Desparado 57peppershaker's Avatar
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    Re: The 'Man Rules'

    Tango, you forgot the;
    "Do whatever the **** you want" doesnt mean what we think it does !
    The doors open, but the ride it aint free.

    "fuck, thats orange" ! - kc55
    https://www.rodsnsods.co.uk/forum/gar...-57-chevy-1277

  8. #7
    Mr Invisible 1960Zody's Avatar
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    Re: The 'Man Rules'

    Some rules for today's teens

    Rule 1 :
    Life is not fair - get used to it!

    Rule 2 :
    The world doesn't care about your self-esteem.
    The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

    Rule 3 :
    You will NOT make £60,000 a year right out of school. You won't be a vice-president with a car and an i-phone until you earn both.

    Rule 4 :
    If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss

    Rule 5 :
    Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

    Rule 6 :
    If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault , so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

    Rule 7 :
    Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now.
    They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were.

    Rule 8 : Life is not divided into semesters.
    You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF.
    Do that on your own time.

    Rule 9 :
    Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

    Rule 10 :
    Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
    Learning carries within itself certain dangers because out of necessity one has to learn from one's enemies.”

  9. #8
    Official RnS Addict Sherwood's Avatar
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    Re: The 'Man Rules'

    Quote Originally Posted by 57peppershaker View Post
    Tango, you forgot the;
    "Do whatever the **** you want" doesnt mean what we think it does !

  10. #9
    Official RnS Addict ROCKIN WOLEY's Avatar
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    Re: The 'Man Rules'

    Never a truer word spoken in jest,

    Realy funny
    Injection is nice but I'd rather be Blown

    CHARNWOOD CRUISERS

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