oh come we need more jokes .. - Page 53
Have an account? Register

Forgot your password?

Forgot your username?

 
Likes Likes:  497
+ Reply to Thread
Page 53 of 412 FirstFirst ... 3 43 51 52 53 54 55 63 103 153 ... LastLast
Results 521 to 530 of 4112
  1. #521
    DarkSide Imaging Rob_W's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Snatching Kisses & Vice Versa
    Posts
    1,239
    Images
    3
    Post Thanks / Like
    Rob_W is offline

    Re: oh come we need more jokes ..

    ******** Sweet home Alabama ********

    Robs-Photography * flickr * Purestorm * Photobox

  2. Remove Advertisements
    RodsnSods.co.uk
    Advertisements
     

  3. #522
    Rods 'n' Sods Junkie
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    South Norway
    Posts
    209
    Images
    0
    Post Thanks / Like
    staleg is offline

    Re: oh come we need more jokes ..

    Good judgement comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgement.

  4. #523
    Rods 'n' Sods Junkie
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    South Norway
    Posts
    209
    Images
    0
    Post Thanks / Like
    staleg is offline

    Re: oh come we need more jokes ..

    Good judgement comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgement.

  5. #524
    Old enough to know better KerbycrewGary's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Naaaarfolk
    Posts
    3,479
    Images
    839
    Post Thanks / Like
    KerbycrewGary is offline

    Re: oh come we need more jokes ..

    A hooded robber burst into a Texas Bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash.

    On his way out the door a brave Texas customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off revealing the robber's face.

    The robber shot the customer without a moment's hesitation.

    He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight at him. The robber instantly shot him also.

    Everyone else, by now very scared, looked intently down at the floor in silence.

    The Robber yelled, "Well, did anyone else see my face?"

    There are a few moments of utter silence, in which everyone was plainly afraid to speak. ....

    Then one old man tentatively raised his hand and said,


    "My wife got a good look at you."
    Racing is Life---anything else is just waiting. Steve McQueen

  6. #525
    Official RnS Addict Stiff's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    .
    Posts
    9,535
    Images
    838
    Post Thanks / Like
    Images
    9
    Stiff is offline

    Re: oh come we need more jokes ..

    ^ ^

  7. #526
    Official RnS Addict Sherwood's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Stourbridge
    Posts
    3,130
    Images
    2729
    Post Thanks / Like
    Sherwood is offline

    Re: oh come we need more jokes ..


  8. #527
    Rods 'n' Sods Junkie
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    South Norway
    Posts
    209
    Images
    0
    Post Thanks / Like
    staleg is offline

    Re: oh come we need more jokes ..

    Norwegian folk music...

    Good judgement comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgement.

  9. #528
    Old enough to know better KerbycrewGary's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Naaaarfolk
    Posts
    3,479
    Images
    839
    Post Thanks / Like
    KerbycrewGary is offline

    Re: oh come we need more jokes ..

    One day, in line at the works cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, 'My elbow hurts like hell. I suppose I'd better see a doctor!'

    Listen mate; don't waste your time down at the surgery, Mike replies.

    There's a diagnostic computer at Tesco. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong, and what to do about it.

    It takes ten seconds and only costs five quid.....a lot quicker and better than a doctor and you get Clubcard points'.

    So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Tesco. He deposits five pounds and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

    Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: 'You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks'..

    That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

    He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and 'pleasured himself' into the mixture for good measure. Jack hurried back to Tesco, eager to check what would happen.

    He deposits five pounds, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results with a grin. The computer prints the following:

    1) Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.

    2) Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.

    3) Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.

    4) Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.

    5) And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better....

    Thank you for shopping at Tesco
    Racing is Life---anything else is just waiting. Steve McQueen

  10. #529
    Official RnS Addict Sherwood's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Stourbridge
    Posts
    3,130
    Images
    2729
    Post Thanks / Like
    Sherwood is offline

    Re: oh come we need more jokes ..

    Q. What do you call a musician without a girlfriend?














    A. Homeless.

  11. #530
    Old enough to know better KerbycrewGary's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Naaaarfolk
    Posts
    3,479
    Images
    839
    Post Thanks / Like
    KerbycrewGary is offline

    Re: oh come we need more jokes ..

    A Doctor, a Lawyer and a priest are on the Titanic.

    The Doctor exclaims, "Get the children off first."

    The Lawyer replies, "**** the kids."

    The Priest says, "Is there time?"
    Racing is Life---anything else is just waiting. Steve McQueen

+ Reply to Thread
Page 53 of 412 FirstFirst ... 3 43 51 52 53 54 55 63 103 153 ... LastLast

Quick Reply Quick Reply

Register Now

Please enter the name by which you would like to log-in and be known on this site.

Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Where you live, Town\City\County etc.

Please enter your full name
This field cannot be edited once it has been completed other than via contacting the site admin. Please make sure the information is correct first time.

Log-in

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

    Similar Threads

    1. Replies: 41
      Last Post: 19-02-2015, 20:15
    2. Replies: 1
      Last Post: 15-12-2009, 23:02
    3. Mild Jokes to get your day going
      By Gr8h8me in forum Chat
      Replies: 5
      Last Post: 30-10-2009, 22:14

    Tags for this Thread

    Bookmarks

    Posting Permissions

    • You may post new threads
    • You may post replies
    • You may not post attachments
    • You may not edit your posts
    •