Todays reading is from the book of Covidicus XIX, Chapter 1, verses 1 to 4
1:1 And lo, a great blight was visited on the land forcing all subjects of the land to be confined to their habitation (except for essential workers, those who have contracts with essential workers, those who supply to the contractors of the essential workers, DIY shops and 'tat' shops that stock just enough food products to be considered essential).
1:2 And the chosen one was sore afraid, he looked to the skies and shouted "Oh Lord, give me a sign!" and shortly a warm glow emanated from the garage attracting the chosen one to venture forth.
1:3 And the Lord said, "Go forth to your garage and work on your hot rod. Seek out the stinky things and make them shiny and lovely. Weld things, hammer things and paint things. Make them good in my sight"
1:4 And the chosen one did go forth to his garage and he did seek out the stinky and bent things and began to make them good.
1:5 The first thing that caught the chosen one's eyes was the differential cover, which had sat beneath an English car for 50 years and was bedecked with oily grime and corrosion. The chosen one removed it. And he saw that it was stinky. And he was sore afraid so he looked to the Lord and said, "With what shall I do it O Lord?", and the Lord said, "A polished aluminium one would be nice, one of those ones with fins that looks like a quick-change rear end." But the chosen one was downcast, "Lord," he said, "I am but a poor peasant, working for a draconian boss who doth not pay to my full potential."
"I see," said the Lord, "I will therefore imbue you with the skills to make it less stinky."
1:6 "Take a strip of 3mm steel. Use ye not 2mm for that is too thin. Neither use ye 4mm for that will be too thick. 5mm is right out!" And the chosen one cut and shaped a piece of 3mm steel cut from a box section,
but he was confused and asked "How shall I shape it, Lord?"
"Smite it with thy largest smitey-stick" quoth the Lord, and the chosen one did taketh his largest smitey-stick and he did smite it and shape it and cut holes in it and saw that it was good. "What do I do with it now?" Asked the chosen one.
"Use a tube of electric glue to stick it to the diff cover and keep it in place."
-"But why do I need it O Lord?"
-"Well if the engine makes anything like the power you want it to that crownwheel is going to walk out of there like the whore of Babylon from a vestal virgins reunion."
1:7 So the chosen one did shape and smite the 3mm reinforcement until it looked OK, and then for good measure he threw away the original breather and added a nice -6AN fitting that would take a hose to the breather tank that he had made some time ago.
1:8 "Now take this blue paint and make it good."
-"But that is red."
-"Oh yes. Sorry. I only made the colourblind ones in my image :shake: "[/QUOTE]
bloody brilliant .
"Buggeration!" Exclaimed the chosen one, for the words of his disciple did ring true. Once more he utilised his machine of rotary abrasion..........The good lord should have offered guidance in the size of the gaps - 5mm minimum or verily the thin colouring layer of protection will make the gaps too small again and the whiny chosen one will be very vexed at the tightness of the fitting once again.