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The good Lord relaxing after his communications with his chosen one was having a well earned draught of wine and having a laugh with his friend Zeus, "can you believe my chosen one is so challenged in the cerebral area that he though Dzus was Zeus??"

Truly my Lord, Zeus replied, he must be thick as pig droppings! and they both laughed heartilty at the foibles of the chosen one.
 

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Discussion Starter · #983 ·
The Book of Covidicus XIX Chapter 4 Contd...

The Book of Covidicus XIX
Chapter 4, Verses 7 to 12

4:7 The chosen one was happy with the bonnet sides of his rod of heat - for now, but he needed to decide on fixings for his bonnet having purchased many spring clips and over-centre clips that he was happy not with. "O Lord," he cried, "My bonnet is of much beauty and considerable toil, I want not fixings that are proud of the flowing lines, neither do I want fixings of grotesqueness. Please guide me, Lord."

4:8 And the Lord pondered for a moment, "Chosen one," he said, "Venture forth from thy habitation once more to your shed of toils and there make a tool to recess the fasteners below the line of the bonnet of much aluminium."
-"Zeus fasteners?"
-"I'm warning you……"
"But Lord," said the chosen one, "I would normally make such an implement at my place of rewarded toil on the machine of many jaws and much spinnage, but alas I have no access in these worrying times so cannot make a tool of dimplage such as you describe."

4:9 The Lord spoke, "Search thee through thy boxes of many things. Search thee out spacers and washers and bolts and nuts, and with my guidance drill these and fashion these and electric glue these to fit each other allowing a clearance for the metal and coloured top layer, and once this is made, dimple thee thy bonnet in the predetermined places of clips of Dzus."

4:10 So the chosen one did search through his boxes of many things, and he did make a rudimentary tool using drill and clamps and electric glue, and he did practice dimplage on a scrap piece of metal and he rejoiced.



4:11 And he did continue on and mark and drill and dimple his bonnet of much beauty, and he did fix it with Dzus clips that now protruded not above the bonnet line, and there was rejoicing and had there not been a nationwide lockdown (thanks to a plague visited on the nations of the world by a vengeful God) there would have been dancing in the streets.









4:12 And the Lord said, "I've told you before, it was the Chinese - not me!"
Here endeth this chapter. Well this bit of it anyway.
 

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Discussion Starter · #986 ·
The Book of Covidicus XIX Chapter 4, Verses 13 to 24

The Book of Covidicus XIX
Chapter 4, Verses 13 to 24

4:13 But the chosen one was still vexed about the flimsiness of his bonnet side panels. "Help me Lord, for I want not side panels that are as flimsy as the reason we are locked down. Guide me in the art of unflimsiness."

4:14 And the Lord said, "Take thee thy side panels and clamp them to a board of shininess, then assemble thee a device of much Heath-Robinsonness that thee can laminate a 90 degree return and make thy side panels wobbly not."

4:15 "Lord," said the chosen one, "I have assembled a device of much Heath-Robinsonness using metal of angle and clamps of 'G' ('C' in the antipodes) and grips of Mole, but with what shall I laminate the return of which you speak?"

4:16 And the Lord spoke, "Taketh thee material of much resinousness, then add thee a small pinch of catalyst, then using fibrous melted sand blend these three materials together and form a return in thy Heath-Robinson jig using much stipplary, but beware! Linger ye not too long in thy strand toils lest thy resinous material begins to harden on thy brush of stipplage."

4:17 And the chosen one did take his material of much resinousness, then added a small pinch of catalyst, then using fibrous melted sand he blended these three materials together and formed a return in the Heath-Robinson jig that he had made using much stipplary. And lo, he Lingered not too long in his toils and the resinous material hardened not on his brush of stipplage.



4:18 And after one orbit of the moon he ventured forth to his garage of much wonderment and there saw that the return on his side panels had hardened, and once he had dismantled the jig of much Heath-Robinsonness he found that his side panels were indeed as rigid as the customers of the whore of Babylon and now flexed not. He also had a nice, flat return for the bonnet of much beauty to seal down on.

4:19 With new-found enthusiasm flowing through the veins of the chosen one, he cutteth small discs of hardened fibrous material and affixed them inside the holes of Dzus, thereby mimicking the dimples on the bonnet of much beauty and causing the clips of Dzus to lay not proud on all 3 bonnet panels.







4:20 But the chosen one's mind was yet troubled. "Lord," he asked, "I have curved clearances for the cam-covers of much arousement in the fibrous front panels, and no way of covering such things."

4:21 And the Lord replied, "Taketh thee thy spray pot and rend it in two, then make laminations of resinous and fibrous materials into the exposed concaveness of the halves that have been rent asunder."
"But Lord," quoth the chosen one, "I know not of the spray pot of which you speak."

4:22 But the Lord was patient, "You know," he said, "The one that always comes with the tools of no remuneration you get when you purchase a small compressor of the air. You must have a couple."

4:23 And the chosen one understood the word of the Lord, and he did find the red spray pot from it's place of dusty concealment, and he did rend it asunder using his machine of rotary abrasion and make resinous and fibrous laminations to please the eyes of the Lord.





4:24 And once his resinous laminations had hardened he attached them to the side panels and covered well the clearance for the cam covers of much arousement. And he glorified in the completion of chapter 4.







Here endeth the 4th chapter.
 

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Discussion Starter · #989 ·
The Book of Covidicus XIX Chapter 5, Verses 1 to 7

The Book of Covidicus XIX
Chapter 5, Verses 1 to 7

5:1 And the chosen one looked once more to the skies and called, "Lord. I fear the end of the time of covidicus is becoming nigh. The female Pilate who rules this land has decreed that I return to my place of rewarded toil this coming day of Tiw*. I fear less toil will be visited on my rod of heat after that day."

5:2 And the Lord spoke, "Chosen one there is much to be done. I bid thee removeth thy digit and complete thy small unfinished projects that have been dust-gathering on your shelves of many things."

5:3 The chosen one respondeth, "Lord, there are many unfinished projects, with which shall I start?"
"I suggesteth thee starteth with the brackets of much firmament for the hinges of doors of ingress which have been forged for some moons. Affix these to the tubes of strength that pass through thy rod of heat with electric glue, then bolt these through to thy hinge mounting bolts with a removable spacer."
And the chosen one did as he was bid and saw the doors of ingress were now as sturdy as the Wall of Jericho.





5:4 'Then," said the Lord, "Use more electric glue to affix thee more brackets of Dzus to the underside of thy chassis that thee can then affix the tray of drip with many clips of Dzus."
And the chosen one did as he was bid, and he discovered more brackets that were finish-welded not so he completed these in his toils.





5:5 "Wow," quoth the chosen one "I am indeed cooking with flammable vapour of invisibility. What would you bid me do next O Lord?"
"Move thee to the back of thy rod of heat, and there using a fabricated bar of steadyment affix brackets for the rods of support for thy wind spoiler to the tubes of strength that pass through thy rod of heat. Once this is done, bolt thee thy inner top brackets to the spoiler of wind mounts that thee can then calculate the amount of pedes* the rods of support need to be."
And the chosen one did as he was bid.









5:6 "Whilst thee loiter at the rear of thy rod of heat, shape thee and trim thee thy rear wings that they follow well the lines of the rear valance."
And the chosen one did as he was bid.





5:7 "Lord," said the chosen one, "I have done as thee has bid. Surely the small projects must be complete?"
"Almost," replied the Lord, "Taketh the thy mirror of the past and what has been passed and affix thereon a token of thy chosen marque, then drill into the tubes of strength that pass through thy rod of heat, and make threads therein so that nice M5 countersunk cap-head screws may affix thy mirror of the past and what has been passed securely to thy rod of heat."
And the chosen one did as he was bid, and he saw that it was good.







Here endeth the fifth chapter.

*Look it up!
 

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Discussion Starter · #991 ·
The Book of Covidicus XIX
Chapter 6, Verses 1 to 5

6:1 The chosen one was downcast, "Lord," he said, "With the end of the time of covidicus advancing as relentlessly as the Asiatic hordes I need more guidance in the building of my rod of heat."

6:2 And the Lord said, "Go forth once more to your garage of rod of heat containment and there fashion a cover for that gap under the speedometer. Fashion it of strong metal and make it yet removable lest thee have issues with the wires of electrickery that will pass beneath it. And while thee are at it, remake the driver's bulkhead panel for it is most odorous in the way it fitteth,"



6:3 So the chosen one did as he was bid, and after remaking the driver's bulkhead panel (that was most odorous in the way it fitted) he formed and fashioned a cover for the gap underneath the speedometer, and he indeed made it removable using two more clips of Dzus, but it was not pleasing to his eyes. "Lord," he said, "How can I make this cover I have made more….Well….Sexy?"

6:4 "Utter ye not of lecherous procreative activities," bellowed the Lord, "But I see what you mean…… You must take the cover you have fashioned and thereto adhere thin layers of material of much sponginess. Then adhere a top layer of shiny material which matcheth the chosen colour of the exterior of your rod of heat. Then take thee two strips cut from an old picture frame, make these black as night and affix them to your panel with rivetous pops as silver as the stars."







6:5 And the chosen one once more did the Lords bidding, and once he had secured the panel he stood back and admired it having procreative thoughts.
And he saw that it was good. And it felt pretty good also.

Here endeth the 6th chapter - for the time being!
 

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A rod of heat built in a garage cannot be hidden.
Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl.
Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.
In the same way, let your rod of heat shine before others,
that they may see your good deeds
and glorify your toils on the internet.


And so it came to pass that the disciples of the chosen one did study his readings from the book of Covidicus and gained great admiration for his toils on his rod of heat.

For the lord has surely blessed the chosen one with many talents, be it in the use of the machine of rotary abrasion, electric glue, fibrous melted sand or in the skilful fabrication of a multitude of things.

Indeed, the chosen one's readings do provide his disciples with enlightenment in ways to follow the good lord's bidding in how to construct a rod of heat, but also a source of merriment during a time when the great blight is upon the land.

Many of the chosen one's disciples have also studied his readings from the book of the free-roaming horse.

Where his use of the inhibitor of rust and the preparatory coating of paint did transform his car of many colours into a single shade of white to please the lord.

Good luck and take care, Paul. :)

PS
I'll leave you with a mis-reading from the book of Leonard Cohen.

Your faith was strong but you needed proof
'til a Falcon bonnet perfectly filled the roof
It's beauty and the moonlight overthrew ya

Hallelujah
Hallelujah
 

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Discussion Starter · #994 ·
The Book of Covidicus XIX Chapter 7, Verses 1 to 7

The Book of Covidicus XIX
Chapter 7, Verses 1 to 7

7:1 "Chosen one," sayeth the Lord, "There are many more small projects to be done before the end of the time of Covidicus. I beseech thee venture once more to your garage of dubious skills, and search thee through the boxes of many things intended for your rod of heat. There ye shall find more fabrications that have, until now, remained as forgotten as The Gospel of Nicodemus*."

7:2 So the chosen one did as the Lord bid, and within a few brief moments he had discovered a box of many sparks but little amperage which was attached to an aluminium bracket of much beauty and with threaded bushes to be attached to the chassis of his rod of heat by means of electric glue.

7:3 "Lord, I have rediscovered the box of sparks which had hitherto lain as forgotten as The Epistle of Barnabas*. Lead me in the attachment of this to my rod of heat."



7:4 And the Lord said," Chosen one. Drill thee two holes of about 12mm diameter in the chassis of thy rod of heat to take the threaded mount slugs for thy box of many sparks but little amperage. Then, once the threaded items are inserted sitting flush attach these permanently using electric glue."



7:5 And the chosen one did as he was bid, and he did coat the bare metal with paint of oxide and rouge to protect it against the devil's corrosion, and then he did attach the rubberised mounts for the box of many sparks using DTM washers of much tackiness. And he saw that is was good.







7:6 "Lord," said the chosen one, "What more can I do to expediate the build of my rod of heat?"
'Well," sayeth the Lord, "You can remake the lower driver's bulkhead panel as the one you made previously was mightily odorous, then continue on with works of the body, but film not and detail not these processes as they are as boring as the old testament and thy disciples may be overwhelmed with sleep at the sight of them."

7:7 And the chosen one did as the Lord had bid. And he saw that it was good.
Here endeth the 7th chapter.
 

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Discussion Starter · #995 ·
A rod of heat built in a garage cannot be hidden.
Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl.
Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.
In the same way, let your rod of heat shine before others,
that they may see your good deeds
and glorify your toils on the internet.


And so it came to pass that the disciples of the chosen one did study his readings from the book of Covidicus and gained great admiration for his toils on his rod of heat.

For the lord has surely blessed the chosen one with many talents, be it in the use of the machine of rotary abrasion, electric glue, fibrous melted sand or in the skilful fabrication of a multitude of things.

Indeed, the chosen one's readings do provide his disciples with enlightenment in ways to follow the good lord's bidding in how to construct a rod of heat, but also a source of merriment during a time when the great blight is upon the land.

Many of the chosen one's disciples have also studied his readings from the book of the free-roaming horse.

Where his use of the inhibitor of rust and the preparatory coating of paint did transform his car of many colours into a single shade of white to please the lord.

Good luck and take care, Paul. :)

PS
I'll leave you with a mis-reading from the book of Leonard Cohen.

Your faith was strong but you needed proof
'til a Falcon bonnet perfectly filled the roof
It's beauty and the moonlight overthrew ya

Hallelujah
Hallelujah
:pmsl: That is brilliant!
The chosen one rejoices that his disciples have taken his writings and are, indeed, finding amusement therein!
 

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Discussion Starter · #997 ·
The Book of Covidicus XIX
Epilogue


And so it came to pass that the time of Covidicus had, at least for the moment, come to an end.
The chosen one returned to his place of rewarded toil and resumed fabricating parts for vehicles of mighty acceleration and rods of heat alike, thereby continuing to spread his gospel across the land. As for his own rod of heat he would have to find solutions for mechanical problems himself from now on, just as he had done before.
As for the Lord, he would go on to become the imaginary friend of millions of people and would discover that he could visit any kind of plague or pestilence upon the earth and his new-found followers would always find a reason to forgive him, so much so that he became complacent and disillusioned, eventually giving up on Earth and it's suicidal occupants and moving away to Eroticon V1 where the triple-breasted whore kept him entertained for all of eternity.
As for the Book of Covidicus X1X itself, this would be screwed up and discarded in a strawberry yoghurt carton, only to be discovered several millennia later by drug-crazed archaeologists and widely lauded as proof of a supreme entity, giving birth to a new and even more unbelievable religion. The Red Ski Scrolls would become the most sacred artefact.

Thanks for reading. As you were.
 

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Discussion Starter · #999 ·
Struttin' my stuff

Well thank goodness all of that psuedo religious garbage is over with and we can resume describing things as we used to.
So, on to the interior struts to strengthen the wing supports. I had always intended making these in steel, but figured that aluminium would be quite strong enough and be a lot lighter to boot.
Dredging through my sadly depleated box of old rose-joints I found four 3/8" threaded ones and headed for my material of choice.
First made up four threaded bungs that were press-fitted into 2mm wall seamless tube:





The other end are plain bosses with 16mm recesses drilled to accept the tube (mainly for location to make welding easier):



Then welded the whole lot together:





Before trial-fitting them in the car:





I'll probably add a couple of diagonals to get away from the whole 'parallelogram' thing, and ultimately they will be painted or coated body colour.
 
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