[chaley]

Dear Abby,
I am a 37 year old male and have been in a long term relationship with a Hotrod roadster ( I'll call it Tetanus) for over 15 years now. I try to give Tetanus all the care and attention that I can, but I have been unable to take it out very much over the last few years because I have been busy giving Tetanus a new bigger engine as well as loads of other bits and bobs.
Now to the problem, I took it out the other day, a nice trip to a nice man that had a look around Tetanus and said that it should be allowed to go out more, so I arrange a little trip out to a place that there would be other Hotrods and I could buy some more things for it. Before our trip I thought I would take it to a friend of ours just to fine tune it's engine, but on the way Tetanus threw a strop and refused to move anymore, it also chucked flames and fluid all over the place.
At this point I am very, very unhappy with the way this relationship is going, no matter what I seem to do it's not enough and I am fast running out of money to keep Tetanus in the way that it would like to be kept.
So Abby what do I do?
The options as I see them are,
Find another Rover V8 and save to get it running right I know I'd need to spend a few £ just to get it to fit, or
Find a pinto and smoke it about, I've everything but the engine and box in stock( I think), at least Tetanus would see some different sights other than the garage, or
Cut the strings and find a new other to spend my spare time with as it really is starting to get on my wick at times.

Yours in anticipation,
Chaley

Norwich

 

[paul]

Dear Chaley

It's obvious your not keeping Tetanus in the standard that you should be, it's small strop has been a warning to you that if you don't buck up your ideas then the flames and fluid drops could be done at very inconvenient times in future....like miles from home, in the rain, at a place that other rods meet or even worse just as your about show off in front of those less fortunate than your self...(known as "the Rodless"). It may be an idea to fit Tetanus with a smaller engine but this may lead to disapointment and further strops..and not just from the car!!! (you know there is no substitute for cubic inches as size does matter...no matter what your mate in the pub says...that's the one who drives a Micra!!)
The answer seems to be endowing Tetanus with a new Rover..maybe even stock but a goodie...This will give you and Tetanus the pleasure you desire and satisfy you both in many ways...
Divorce from Tetanus will only cost you time and money as well as tears as the new keeper will sort out the minor problems that Tetanus has and then will spend many hours being pleasured in what was yours.... What ever you hook up with is gong to cost you time and money (if if has wheels or tits it's gona give you trouble!!) and some times it's better the devil you know!

Paul
Padded call 2
Ward 8
Bedlam Asylum!

 

[mrquickwhip]

dear abby

dear chaley.......have you tried speaking nicely and stroking tetanus?...i think she may be a little tired of being thrashed and may react favourably to a 2 litre pinto or a 16 x-flow in light of budget plans to add even more fuel duty in the impending budget. a v8 always sounds nice but if you cant afford to take tetanus on long sightseeing trips then what would be the point? just take a deep breath and tell her youre sorry for being cross with her and that you promise when she gets a heart transplant things will be better....good luck in your relationship:incheek::tup: