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Cinderella is now 95 years old.

After a fulfilling life with the now dead prince, she happily sits upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat named Bob for companionship.

One sunny afternoon out of nowhere, appeared the fairy godmother.




Cinderella said, 'Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years'?

The fairy godmother replied, 'Cinderella, you have lived an exemplary life since I last saw you. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?'

Cinderella was taken aback, overjoyed, and after some thoughtful consideration, she uttered her first wish:



'The prince was wonderful, but not much of an investor.
I'm living hand to mouth on my disability checks, and I wish I were wealthy beyond comprehension.
Instantly- her rocking chair turned into solid gold.

Cinderella said,
'Ooh, thank you, Fairy Godmother'

The fairy godmother replied,
'It is the least that I can do.
What do you want for your second wish?'

Cinderella looked down at her frail body, and said,
'I wish I were young and full of the beauty and youth I once had.'


At once, her wish became reality, and her beautiful young visage returned.

Cinderella felt stirrings inside her that had been dormant for years.
And then the fairy godmother spoke once more:
'You have one more wish; what shall it be?'


Cinderella looks over to the frightened cat in the corner and says, 'I wish for you to transform Bob, my old cat, into a kind and handsome young man.'
Magically, Bob suddenly underwent such fundamental a change in his biological make-up that, when he stood before her, he was a man so beautiful ~the likes of him neither she nor the world had ever seen.

The fairy godmother said,
'Congratulations, Cinderella, enjoy your new life.'

With a blazing shock of bright blue electricity,
The fairy godmother was gone as suddenly as she appeared.

For a few eerie moments,

Bob and Cinderella looked into each other's eyes.


Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing at the most beautiful, stunningly perfect man she had ever seen.

Then Bob walked over to Cinderella, who sat transfixed in her rocking chair, & held her close in his young muscular arms.

He leaned-in close, blowing her golden hair with his warm breath as he whispered...

'Bet you're sorry you had

me neutered...
 

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Banjo snapper.
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Nope, we were trained to blank out all smilies in the second week of my Ninja training, I've said too much already.
 

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A tourist walked into a Brighton curio/antique shop. After looking around for a while, he noticed a very life-like bronze Statue of a rat. It had no price tag, but it was so striking that he decided to buy it anyway.
He took it to the owner and said: 'How much is this bronze rat?'
The owner replied: 'It's £12 for the rat, and £100 for the story.'
The tourist gave the owner his £12 and said: 'I'll just take the rat,
You can keep the story.'
As he walked off down the street, he noticed that a few real rats had crawled out of the sewers and begun following him. This was a little disconcerting, so he started to walk a little faster, but within a couple of blocks the swarm of rats had grown to hundreds, and they were all squealing and screeching in a very menacing way. He increased his speed & ran on towards the beach, and as he ran, he looked behind him and saw the rats now numbered in their millions, and they were running faster & faster. By now very concerned, he ran down to the pier and threw the bronze Rat far out into the water. Amazingly, the millions of real rats jumped into the water after it and were all drowned.
The man walked back to the shop owner, who said: 'Ah, you've come back for the story then?'
'No,' said the tourist, 'I came back to see if you've got any bronze statues of Fundamentalist Clerics, illegal immigrants, climate change protestors, or something French......!!!! :D
 

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:lol: :pmsl::tup: yeah like that one....


a man walking down the road he see's another man running towards him, he asks "wot you running for"? the chap said "a lion has escaped from the zoo" he replied "which way did it go"? the man said " u dont think im f***ing chasing it do u"?

jim
 

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durty joke

a bloke notices a female giving him the eye in the supermarket.....after a few minutes he walks over and says.....do i know you? the woman replies.... arent you the father of one of my kids?........the guy thinks back to the only time hes been unfaithful and says.....are you the hooker i [email protected] over the table at my stag do while yer friend whipped my back with a stick of wet celery while she [email protected] me up the @rse with a giant cucumber?
she stares at him and says.....no ...im yer daughters teacher:pmsl:
 

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man jumps out of plane, as he tries opening his chute he noticed it fails, so does the back up. all of sudden some guy comes flying upwards so he yells: hey, do you know something bout chutes? the man coming up yells: no, but do you know something bout gas stoves?
 

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a bloke notices a female giving him the eye in the supermarket.....after a few minutes he walks over and says.....do i know you? the woman replies.... arent you the father of one of my kids?........the guy thinks back to the only time hes been unfaithful and says.....are you the hooker i [email protected] over the table at my stag do while yer friend whipped my back with a stick of wet celery while she [email protected] me up the @rse with a giant cucumber?
she stares at him and says.....no ...im yer daughters teacher:pmsl:
Best one I've heard in a long time!!! PMSL
 
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