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On the way there, he tells his driver that looks a bit like him:

"I'm sick of all these conferences. I always say the same things over and over!"

The driver agrees: "You're right. As your driver, I attended all of them, and even though I don't know anything about science, I could give the conference in your place."

"That's a great idea!" says Einstein. "Let's switch places then!"

So they switch clothes and as soon as they arrive, the driver dressed as Einstein goes on stage and starts giving the usual speech, while the real Einstein, dressed as the car driver, attends it.

But in the crowd, there is one scientist who wants to impress everyone and thinks of a very difficult question to ask Einstein, hoping he won't be able to respond. So this guy stands up and interrupts the conference by posing his very difficult question. The whole room goes silent, holding their breath, waiting for the response.

The driver looks at him, dead in the eye, and says :

"Sir, your question is so easy to answer that I'm going to let my driver reply to it for me."
 

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I think ToddFinney is actually in a padded cell somewhere and only aloud out at certain times to tell jokes and then locked up again!
Anyway I only know 2 jokes so here they are;

What do you call someone who used to like tractors but doesn't anymore? - an ex tractor fan

Why aren't there any anadins in the jungle? cos the parrots et em all ..

I'll get my coat.
 

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From my mates over at the local pub. You'd be surprised at the number of terrible jokes we could come up with once the drink starts to "kick in."
The pub?, didn't we use to have them in the olden days?
 

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My boss arrived at work in a brand-new Rolls Royce.

Wow,” I said. “That’s an amazing car.”

He replied, “If you work hard, put all your hours in, and strive for excellence... I’ll get another one next year!”
 

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"Mansplain" is a terrible word to use...

because it has more letters than explain and is, therefore, more difficult for women to understand.
 

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A Japanese business man living in nyc goes into the bank to exchange a large amount of US dollars into Yen...

He does the transaction with the teller, offer a polite bow accompanied by an ‘ah so’, and leaves.

He comes back in a week with another large amount of usd to exchange. This time he gets much less yen. He looks quizzically at the teller and she says to him, ‘fluctuations’!!

He angrily grabs the cash and storms out. As he’s leaving the branch he comes back in and yells at the top of his voice: ‘fluc you Americans too!!!’
 

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A Japanese prison invited a few sumo wrestlers for a match...

The fattest prisoners were selected to compete and to everyone's surprise, they won.

It's because the cons outweigh the pros.
 

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Husband says to wife " Can I smell a Romantic Valentines dinner cooking in the kitchen "
Wife " Er no "
Husband says " Me neither, so you better get cracking then "

For the sake of your health guys DO NOT show this to wifey.
 

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Not really a joke, but something to ponder.....
If Adolf Hitler was really Austrian, did he speak German with an Austrian accent ? ��
 
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