Rods 'n' Sods - UK Hot Rod & Street Rod Forums banner

4501 - 4512 of 4512 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
294 Posts
The village blacksmith was glad to have finally found an apprentice that did not mind the long hours and was willing to work hard.

He instructed the boy, “When I take the shoe out of the fire, I’ll lay it on the anvil; and when I nod my head, you hit it with this hammer.”The apprentice did just as he was told.

And now he’s the village blacksmith.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,023 Posts
A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital with an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose and still heavily sedated from a four hour operation. A young nurse appears to sponge his hands and feet. "Nurse", he mumbles from behind the mask, "Are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, I'm only here to wash your hands and feet". He struggles again to ask, "Nurse, are my testicles black?" Finally, she pulls back the covers, raises his gown, and holding his penis in one hand and his testicles in her other hand and takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them". The man pulls off his oxygen mask and says slowly, "That was very nice, but listen very, very, closely, are...my...test...results...back?"
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,023 Posts
JOHN G: Shall we try a new positon tonight?
Wife: Sure. You stand by the ironing board and I'll sit on the couch and drink beer and fart!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
294 Posts
Husband and wife are in a bar when the wife sees her ex boyfriend...

She says to her husband, ‘see that drunk, I turned down his proposal 10 years ago.

Husband looks at his wife, looks at the guy and sighs, ‘that explains why he is still celebrating’
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,220 Posts
boris f**king Johnson and this government,biggest joke out there!!
If you’re like me and totally p**sed off with all this lockdown shit rules and regulations I think you will have the same opinion.
Boris and his gang can have a massive party on the beach,horse racecourses and football stadiums are open with thousands of people present.beaches are rammed with people,campsites are fully booked,pubs and restaurants are packed out.pikeys in our area can have 34 caravans/campers together illegally and even have the front to put a flaming marquee up!! One rule for one and one for another,we cannot even have a weekender car show and have fun and enjoy ourselves.it is about time we all stuck two fingers up at these idiots in charge and live our lives like other countries.benefits, furlough and immigrants need to stop now or we are all doomed!!!
 
4501 - 4512 of 4512 Posts
Top