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WHY WE SHOOT DEER IN THE WILD
by a farmer who should have known better

I had this idea that I could rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it & eat it. First step: get a deer. I figured that, since they congregate at my cattle feeder & don't seem scared of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up & sniff the bags of feed while I'm in the back of the truck not 4' away), it shouldn't be hard to rope one, get up to it & toss a bag over its head (to calm it down), then hog tie it & transport it home.

I filled the cattle feeder, then hid down at the end with my rope. The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They wudden having any of it. After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up-- 3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, & threw my rope. The deer just stood there & stared at me. I
wrapped the rope around my waist & twisted the end so I'd have a real good hold..

The deer stood & stared at me, but you knew it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation. I took a step towards it, it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope .. & that's when my education started. First thing I learned is, while a deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they're spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope.

That deer EXPLODED. 2nd thing I learned is that, pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope & with some dignity. A deer-- No Chance. That thing ran, bucked, twisted & pulled. There was no controlling it or getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet, dragging me across the ground, I realized having a deer on a rope wasn't near as good an idea as I'd thought... The only upside is that they don't have as much stamina as many other animals.

A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired & not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet & drag me ever time I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood gushing from the big gash in my head. At that point, I'd plum lost my taste for corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature to disappear off the end of that rope.

I figured if I was to let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it'd die a slow & painful death.. probably.... somewhere. At the time, I didn't much care as there was no love lost between me & that deer. Fact is, I hated the thing, & I'd venture a guess he felt the same. Despite the gash in my head & the huge knots where I'd cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks, as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there's a small chance I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in.
So, I didn't want the deer to suffer no slow death, & I, somehow, got it lined back up tween my truck & the feeder - a little trap I'd set before hand... kind of like a squeeze chute. I got it to back in there & I started moving up so I could get my rope back.

Did you know that deer bite?

They do! I'd never in a million years have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was awful surprised when I grabbed at that rope & the dang deer grabbed hold of my wrist. With his teeth... Now, when a deer bites you, it's not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and slide off to then let go. A deer bites you & shakes its head--almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD & it hurts.

What you oughta do when a deer bites you is to maybe freeze & draw back slowly. I didn't do that... I tried screaming & shaking instead. My method was ineffective.

Seems like the deer was biting & shaking for several minutes, but likely it was only a few seconds. I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now), tricked it. While I kept it busy tearing the tendons out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand & I pulled that rope loose.

Then, I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.

Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet & strike right about head & shoulder level, & their hooves are dang nigh razor sharp... I learned a long time ago that, when an animal - (like a horse) --strikes at you with their hooves & you can't get away easy, the best thing to do is to make a loud noise & make a sudden move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to
back down a bit so you can escape.

This was not a horse. This here was a deer, so obviously, such trickery wouldn't work. In the blink of an eye, I devised a different strategy. I screamed like a woman & tried to turn & run. The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn & run from a horse that paws at you is there's a good chance that it'll hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after all, (besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil), because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head & knocked me flat on my face.

Now, when a deer paws at you & knocks you down, it don't turn & leave. I think it don't know the danger's passed. What they do instead is paw your back & jump up & down on you while you're laying there crying like a little girl & covering your head.

I finally managed to crawl under the truck & the deer left. So now I know why, when people go deer hunting, they bring a rifle with a scope......to sort of even the odds!!

All these events are true so help me God... An Educated Farmer
 

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:pmsl::pmsl::pmsl::pmsl::pmsl::pmsl::pmsl::pmsl::pmsl::pmsl::pmsl::pmsl:
mmmmmmmmmmbwahhahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, bloody hilarious, shame you couldn't have caught it on camera, I would have loved to have seen this. Sorry, I take it you are ok, what were the other 2 deer doing in the meantime?
 

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"call 0-800 Apocalypse"
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It is time that the common myth about deer be dispelled. Deer are portrayed as cuddly, adorable creatures who are soft tempered and friendly. Bambi is an excellent example of this myth. But a myth is all it is. Deer are actually viscous killing machines who love the taste and sight of blood. They are cold and calculating creatures with a desire to hunt and kill that out does the lion. But they don't hunt other animals, they hunt humans.
That's right, the deer are plotting to kill humans.



The deer follow a simple plan in order to lure their victims into the ring of death. A small deer will stand quietly and cutely near where a camping family is. Someone sees the deer and points it out to the others. They try to walk near it, it slowly moves away. Some people grow tired of the deer walking away and head back for the camp. But there is always someone who keeps going. The deer gets the victim alone and is suddenly not so damn cute. Before the person can let out a scream, the deer has planted it's antlers into the victims windpipe. Blood drips from the deer antlers and it shakes the victim off its antlers. The horribleness doesn't end there.

The deer then stomps in the head of the victim until the brains are out in the open. The deer eats them and licks all the blood and goo from the skull of the victim. The deer then stabs the body again with the antlers and licks what blood seeps out. The deer then calls for the other deer to come and join in. Other deer arrive and lick the blood off of the first deer antlers. It is a feeding frenzy as the deer devour the body.

Once all the flesh has been eaten off of the victim, the deer dig out a hole with their hooves and shove the body in it. They stomp on the ground until all evidence of a burial is hidden and then have a decision to make. If the deer are still hungry then they go to the camp and do the same to all the others. If they aren't hungry, they vacate the area.

On occasion, a human might have a gun and be able to fight off the deer, and the attack is blamed on rabies. Deer know this and try to foam at the mouth before attacking. In the case of hunters, the deer use a quick agile deer to distract the hunters and other deer attack from behind, driving their antlers through the hunters spines. The deer, however, do not stomp in the brains of the hunters. They devour the rest of the body but leave the head intact.



Once finished devouring the hunter's body, the deer will take the head of the hunter and put it on their antlers. The deer bury the guns and body, then parade the head around the forest, later burning it and then pissing on where it's buried. In cases where there are hunter's lodges, the deer will burst in, kill, and then take the hunters heads and mount them on the antlers of the stuffed deer on the wall. Later, once all the deer have come to take a look at the heads, the hunter heads are buried the same as always, and the deer heads are taken down and buried nicely, and without being pissed on.



In deer urban society, adolescent deer must prove themselves through a rite of passage. Both male and female deer go through this. This teen deer must be willing to sacrifice itself for the good of the other deer. The deer must prove this by either standing on the road or running out in front of a carload of people late at night on a deserted road. If the deer stands its ground and is hit, or sustains an injury, the deer proves itself to the rest of the deer. In some cases the deer does die, but does so with honor. However, in most cases the car swerves to avoid the deer and spins off into the trees, smashes into the trees and is bound to injure the victims inside. The other deer watching emerge from hiding and kick in the windows, then drag the stunned victims into the forest and devour them. The teen deer who survived is now an adult deer and is given the honor of smashing in the head and eating the brains of all the victims.

Deer used to be more docile, but due to hunting, they now all believe that humans are horrible scum sucking bottom dwellers and deserve to die. The deer realize that one day we might catch on and kill them all, but for now the deer are getting their revenge. They know the humans will repopulate and still hunt them down, so they continue killing.

The next time you are near a deer, look in their eyes and notice the bloodthirsty hatred. Never leave yourself or any other person with a deer. The deer in petting zoos are basically decoys, they fool humans into believing that all deer are cute and friendly, but now you know the truth. Stay away from deer. They are killer deer from hell.
 

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Doh !!, a Deer, a Female deer, Ray, go get me Fukcin` Gun !!. :pmsl: :tup:
 

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:pmsl::pmsl::pmsl::pmsl::pmsl::pmsl::pmsl::pmsl::pmsl::pmsl::pmsl::pmsl:
mmmmmmmmmmbwahhahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, bloody hilarious, shame you couldn't have caught it on camera, I would have loved to have seen this. Sorry, I take it you are ok, what were the other 2 deer doing in the meantime?
It wasnt him that this happend to, I read this 12months ago on a US forum.
 

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I shoot roe deer at a rate of one every three weeks and a wild boar every three months.
This saves a fortune. Once you get over the whiff of taking out the stomach it's five sunday roasts for free
Best
Rambo
 
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